I've got the best of both worlds.

mix it all together and you know that it's the best of both worlds

This week had been the most unproductive week ever in my whole existence.

I've been constantly sleeping around 2 a.m. and waking up around 9 a.m.

see my life?

I get off my bed just to eat and go back to my bed again and sleep.

Actually there is a reason behind all this,

I've been stressing to let go of someone who sees my worth but do nothing for it.

I mean, I do love him and all

I think he loves me too, but there is this fear that's stopping us both.

Sleeping is my way of forgetting things,

how bad could that be?

You see it's a whole different me down here.

I used to be the girl who can let go of a guy easily.

I used to broke hearts and make boys cry.

I used to be someone who is hard to talk to about relationships.

I used to be,

I used to..

now I've been a lot different at this moment

I don't know what this guy is doing to me..

He let go of me so easily.

He broke my heart to the point that I cry myself to sleep.

He always pushes me away,..

actually no, he can't push me away, and that's the whole point of this heart break.

no matter how much I force myself to let it be,

to let him be happy with his life,

I just can't.

'cause I'm still hoping that someday, somehow he'll find his way back to me.

how stupid can I be,

he's my soul mate

but when I had the chance to be his girl

I just threw it away,

and now I'm here wanting him back.

All I'm asking is for God to bring me acceptance

for God to give me strength

for God to help me forget

for God to guide me

for God to show me the right way

I'm not praying for me to have him back or anything,

I just want to live a life with no regrets,

to live my life happily with or without him.

I'm gonna give up,

I have to let go,

I'll be moving on..

soon.

I can't let this pain and false hope take over my life.